Did I tell you yet about the lady that visited our Bible Study a few weeks ago? She’d been married for FIFTY — count ’em — FIFTY years. She (Mrs. Janey) gave us her top ten tips on making your marriage a success (I, of course, loved that it was a top ten list.) And everyone wanted her to come back the next week so that we could ask her heaps more questions.
She did. It was great.
One of the things that stuck out to me the most about her talk (totally random, you’ll think, but read on…) was that she talked about how she got up every morning before her husband to get herself ready and put on her makeup. She didn’t want him to leave for work without saying goodbye to her, looking her best. She pointed out that there are too many women who don’t care whether he’s married.
The thought of getting up super-early for pretty much anything is a hard one for me. I already get up between six and 6:20 most days. And the Hubs has already left for the gym by then. I suppose I could get ready by the time he gets back but that’s when I spend time with the Lord. Om, sorry guys, I’m having a conversation with myself. I’ll continue it at another time.
So where were we?
Well, just the week before this special guest graced our group with her presence, I’d been considering how much makeup I could ditch from my routine, as a part of the Naked Face Project. But I don’t really like for my face to be nekkid. So I was very thankful for an excuse to keep my beauty regime in tact.
You’ll be glad to know there were other, mayhaps more important take-aways from the talk. And today at Signposts I shared some of my own thoughts about Fighting for your Marriage (instead of fighting in it.) And tomorrow, I’m sharing that Top Ten List from the guest speaker, which I think you’ll also enjoy.
On a more personal note, I think one of the most useful things the Hubs and I have incorporated that has been a great help to our marriage is setting aside a specific time each week where we go through a specific set of questions that we discussed and decided on. They include things like “How have I honored and loved you this week?” and “Is there anything we need to let go of?” and “How is your walk with the Lord” and “How are we doing with Asher and Blake?” Although we struggle to faithfully keep up that habit each week, when we do, I always sense that there’s so much life in it.
The questions have become an integral part of our lives, so that we can still ask each other those questions when we have a good car ride in front of us or some time on our hands — so it doesn’t have to just be on the sofa with sleeping boys in their room anymore.
So what works for you? Any marriage advice you’d like to share? You can click over to Signposts or comment right here. I hope you’ll enjoy both posts — especially the second one!
You might be a fan of Matt Redman. Or, you might not know who I’m talking about. If you’ve heard a proper British accent singing a worship song that you’ve also heard lots of other Christian artists cover, you’re probably listening to Matt Redman. Anywho. Matt Redman & LZ7 collaborated to create an inspiring song called 27 Million. The song was created to raise awareness of the twenty-seven MILLION (read that number again for me, please) modern day slaves around the world right now.
Perhaps you saw Liam Neeson in the movie Taken and applauded the former Obi Wan Kenobi for kicking butt and taking names in order to rescue his kidnapped daughter from sex traffickers. Or maybe you saw the episode of CSI where Horatio rescued all those girls from Eastern Europe who’d been promised jobs in the US but were really being sold into slavery in the sex industry.
Maybe, like me, you thought of this as a problem ‘over there’ and not here until you heard a news story about a woman who’d been taken from a party in Raleigh, North Carolina, and brought to eastern North Carolina with the promise of a job. She was being held hostage in a trailer off a lesser-travelled highway, and given poker chips to pay for her food and personal necessities, in exchange for performing acts that I don’t want to mention here because I want to keep this blog G-Rated.
We can’t afford to be ignorant to what’s going on around us. And maybe we can’t do everything to solve this problem, but here’s a chance to do something today.
This is the official music video introducing the 27 Million Song. After you get inspired, you can buy it on iTunes — $1.29 on US iTunes here, it’s £0.99 on  UK iTunes here. Proceeds will go to the A21 Campaign, a non-profit engaged in the abolishment of injustice in the 21st Century. They’re making a difference and you can help!
Sure we can’t do everything, but what might be possible if we decided to do something, together? xCC
It may have occurred to you by now that at some point, it has to happen. I’m still writing With Love, but I’m not writing With Love from Africa anymore. The process of re-entering life here in North Carolina after six years abroad, and two of them in Africa, has been many things, including a grieving process.
I’m grieving the beauty I left behind.
Grieving the poverty I left behind.
I look at where I am now, look at where I’ve been and wonder — did it make a difference? Couldn’t I have been more… done more?
What did it mean?
I read stories like this one — about Katie Davis, a girl who took off for Uganda instead of university in 2007 at age 19, and has since adopted 13 daughters, started a child sponsorship program and a feeding program, and is hoping to open a school this year.
My heart gets turned inside out.
Am I back in the West, and have I forgotten where I was?
I have too many clothes.
I want my very worst addiction to come to an end: my addiction to me.
The part of my re-entry that is currently shocking? How dang easy it’s been to get comfortable. Quick.
***
I think it would be a fair assessment to say that Steve Jobs changed the world during his time in it. He created a market where one previously didn’t exist. He took personal computers in a beautiful new direction. I’m not just saying that because we’re a Mac family — Apple recently surpassed Microsoft and is basically the largest company in the world now.
One of my favorite things Jobs said during his time on this earth was in a commencement speech in 2005, to the graduating class at Stanford University.
I pondered the simple words for a while, and I think I have come to better understand their meaning. Jobs said:
Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.
When I was younger in the Lord, I was hungry for more of Him. Hungry to see Him move. Hungry to see change in the world around me — hungry to be a part of the change that our Father had in mind for His children and the world He created. Hungry to be the hands and feet of Jesus — going to the broken, touching a world in need.
I was foolish enough to believe I could make a difference.
Perhaps Jobs was hungry for a different kind of change. He was hungry to innovate, hungry to create and develop. He was passionate about beauty.
This hunger of mine, though, it’s a hunger and a thirst for righteousness, a hunger to do the will of God, knowing that if we came together and did His will this world would be a radically different place.
I don’t want to get comfortable and lazy — I want to stay hungry for a life that exhibits … exudes God.
And that foolishness — maybe that’s not getting too wise in one’s own eyes, being hungry to learn, to listen.
Was Jobs foolish enough to believe he could change the world, I wonder? Because he did.
Maybe like Bono, I’m foolish enough to believe that Where You Live Should Not Decide whether you live or whether you die. Foolish enough to think ours literally could be the generation that ends extreme poverty.
All the world is hurting, truly — for a while, Africa was where my hands labored to do some healing.
It might be nice to have some new colors here, some new pictures, a change of pace, a change of name.
{I write these things to let you know it’s coming, so that you won’t arrive and think you’ve lost your way.}
But I want, at the core, for all of me, including this, to be about one thing — staying hungry to hear the voice of God and to write what I believe He says, to write like I mean it. And with that, staying foolish enough to believe that changing the world is possible. With my pen, my hands or even a pair of shoes.
The best news? The adventure is really just beginning.
But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence. But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God—and righteousness and sanctification and redemption—that, as it is written, “He who glories, let him glory in the LORD.†{I Cor. 1:27 – 31}
On Thursday, I spoke a little bit about Making Your Christmas Decisions Now — and I hope that my words didn’t feel like a whole lot of talk about what you should cut out of your holiday, without much talk about what you should put into it. There was one more thing I wanted to put into words but didn’t quite have a grasp of yet.
Which is probably always the case, but ya know.
When Jesus spoke up, announcing the beginning of His ministry He said:
God’s Spirit is on me;
he’s chosen me to preach the Message of good news to the poor,
Sent me to announce pardon to prisoners and
recovery of sight to the blind,
To set the burdened and battered free,
to announce, “This is God’s Year to act!” (Luke 4:18-19, the Message)
There is a marked difference between the person who says they follow Jesus because of what they don’t do, and the person who says they follow Jesus because of what they do.
I am hungry for my life to speak His Name in action, for the world to see His people living in the name of Love. And when we celebrate the Father sending His Son into this world for us, I want it to be about Him!
So add that to those other thoughts if you will. And share some of your own, if you like!
Insert here, mayhaps, an unceremonious segue into a discussion of something I do very much enjoy, as a part of celebrating the Savior’s birth.
We are blessed with an incredible team of ministry partners, which you are welcome to join, by the way. They pray for us and partner with us to make our ministry possible. Some have even been supporting me since I boarded that plane in Atlanta to head for Scotland! Wowzers! That was six years ago!
And in addition to sending regular newsletters to report back to our supporters each month, we send Christmas cards at the end of the year just to say weloveyouthankyouthankyouthankyou and this time around to also say, lookwe’vegottwoboysnow,whoohoo! If only the cards would give me enough space to say everything I wanted to say with spaces.
ha.
We’ve had decent experiences with a few different companies over the years, but last year I designed our cards and my Mom’s Christmas cards with Shutterfly and they were beautiful. If I do say so myself. We also designed the cards from the first year we were married with Shutterfly with a sweet little picture from our wedding, but I don’t have that one to show you. Sowwy. Just imagine them being precious. Cuz they were.
I think I showed you a screenshot of ours from last year:
{The Tank was still on the inside!}
And after I did that one we took some photos at Thanksgiving for my Mom’s and I designed hers with Shutterfly, too and it was a Stationery Card and the quality of the paper was lovely — it was like nice card stock instead of photo paper, if that makes sense.
I loved it!
{That’s my nieceypoo in case you don’t know. She’s a darlingpreciousangelpumpkin and she’s presently working on potty training!}
They have some gorgeous new designs this year, and I think this one might be my favorite for showcasing my favorite photo of the year, thankyouverymuchmyHeroHubs.
However, this one is square and requires extra postage and I don’t think I’m gonna spring for that. But look at that fresh, yet vintage little red bird! I love him!
So here’s the good news. Today we’re giving away, for you and a friend, a trip to Turks & Caicos with two first class tickets and…show ’em what else they’ve won, Vanna…
I wish.
But seriously.
I’m giving away 25 Free Holiday Cards at Shutterfly to three readers who are just lucky enough to have stumbled across this site today. Or else you’re here all the time, in which case, are we related?
I’m kidding again.
But seriously.
I have a brainbuster of a question for you to answer in order to enter to win this giveaway.
In the comments, tell me about a favorite memory from Christmas when you were a kid. Or, tell me about one of your favorite Christmas traditions. Or, tell me how you’re planning to Love More with Less this Christmas. Or, tell me whether you read this blog, and if you do, why.
You can pretty much talk about whatever you want, but don’t be cheeky.
The Bear will randomly select three winners out of the singing cookie jar that the Tank likes to play with. As soon as we can get it away from the Tank.
Just comment by Tuesday, November 1st, 12 midnight Eastern Standard Time.
P.S. Behave yoself and just enter once. If I discover you’ve entered more than once, your name won’t go in the singing cookie jar. I’ll email the winners their special codes to get their cards on Wednesday and announce ’em here.Amen.
Reflecting on where life was ten years ago last week, a friend of mine wrote a piece of her story, strong and brave, and offered to share it here. You might remember her from {Thanks}giving Week last year. May Laura Anne’s words challenge and encourage your heart…what a strong reminder of the amazing God who loves us they are to me!
Once upon a time, there was a girl who was known as the Bacardi Queen. She was a bubbly caring sort of lass who loved to dance, with a thick Scottish accent and quite the potty mouth. She liked to drink Bacardi and often got a little tipsy as her teeny body filled up with alcohol and sugar, and the Bacardi would turn into tears and anguish of all the hurts she’d kept locked inside of her. The queen wanted to be away from all the hurt, so she came up with a plan to escape.
And then a chance came! The Bacardi queen gave up on her love of dance and studied hard hoping it would earn her a ticket to another world, a world free of all the people that had hurt her.
The Bacardi queen got her ticket, but at a high cost. She had to sacrifice the life of her unborn daughter in order to keep it. She made the sacrifice, and got to keep her ticket, and so she ran away to a place in the far North where she met people from foreign lands.
There seemed to be a never-ending flow of Bacardi in this land, and the queen drank and soon all the tears came out and the queen felt all the pain that she’d not allowed herself to feel before. Soon the pain began to overwhelm her and she went on a search for something that would ease it.
She met some strange people. They called themselves Christians. These Christians were funny characters, and did things and said things the queen found very bizarre. One day she asked one of them to take her to the place where they all gathered, and she saw them all together for the first time. There was an energy she had not encountered before, and being a curious sort of girl she decided to investigate further. What was this energy they had that she did not? She wasn’t sure what it was but her instincts said it was good.
After some months of observation and a little bit of study, she found out what it was. Agape. Love.
But could the queen partake of this love after the sacrifice she’d made for her ticket?
She decided to dance again, but it did not bring her the same kind of love that the Christians had.
One day the Christians caught her singing, and they asked her if she would lead them in songs. But the songs were about the love she couldn’t have and she didn’t know how to tell them that.
The more she tried to sing, the harder it got to hold in the hurt, until she finally told one of the Christians about why she couldn’t have the love they had. “There’s a bigger sacrifice that was taken up and it makes up for the one you made”, said the Christian. “Look! See!”And he showed her in a book that it was true, and he explained to her how to receive the Agape.
And that day, the Bacardi Queen began a transition…gradually she put down her Bacardi crown, and she got a new crown of laurels, and could now use the name she was first given:
Victory. Grace. Worshipper of God.
***
Laura Anne, thank you for so bravely sharing your story. Knowing the work you do now, considering the life you are living for the Lord — it is such a beautiful picture of the God who Redeems. Thank you for living it and sharing it with many.
And friends, Laura Anne blogs at Learning from Sophie, if you haven’t checked her out already!
xCC
P.S. Do you have a story to share and want a space to share it? I’d love to create an opportunity for you to step up to the metaphorical microphone. Please get in touch!
Between trying to settle one little one into a new children’s church and taking the other one to the Mothers’ Room, I only had a brief stint in the main service this Sunday, at the church we attend when we’re in Bloemfontein. In one of the moments where my ears managed to catch a snippet of the sermon, the guest speaker was discussing the difference between concern and compassion. The miracle of the fishes and loaves that fed 5,000 was used as an illustration of the point.
Since I didn’t have the opportunity to catch much more than just an awareness that this was the topic, I spent some time in thought to myself, considering what happened when Jesus and the disciples fed 5,000 men, and additional women and children in some deserted place that day.
Monday morning, I had the opportunity to live out the understanding I’d reached after considering the Scripture more thoroughly.
As the story goes in Matthew 14, Jesus withdrew to some deserted place after hearing the news that John the Baptist had been beheaded. But when the multitudes heard the news, they followed Him — perhaps wondering how he would react to what had happened, perhaps seeking some comfort because they believed John to be a prophet.
Despite His heartwrenching circumstances, He saw that great multitude, and had compassion for them, and He healed the sick among them.
When it was evening, the disciples were concerned for the people — it was getting late and they were far away from anywhere. They worried they’d be hungry and have nothing to eat, so they thought they should be sent away to the villages nearby to buy food.
But Jesus said, “They don’t need to go anywhere. You feed them.” {Matt. 14:16, my paraphrase}
And after that, you perhaps know the story. We’ve only got five loaves and two fish. They gave them to Jesus. Everyone sat down. He took the food and blessed it, gave it to the disciples, the disciples gave it to the multitudes, everyone ate till they were miraculously stuffed, and there was a whole bunch left over. A basket for every disciple, in fact.
The contrast between the disciples’ perspective on the situation and Jesus’ brings into light a great deal about the difference between mentally assenting to something and truly believing it.
Let me try to explain.
A person might mentally agree with the fact that a building is on fire, but if they truly believe it, they’ll get out of the building and warn everybody they see along the way.
A person who mentally agrees with what the Bible says might argue the case for Christ or some theological point while referencing the appropriate Scriptures. A person who truly believes that the Bible is God’s Word will allow what the Bible says to determine how they live their lives.
A person who mentally agrees that the preservation of our environment is a matter of concern might side with Al Gore in a discussion of the issues and worry about what the world will be like for our children’s children. A person who really believes it is an issue will reduce their carbon footprint, stop using plastic grocery bags, and recycle.
And like the disciples, a person who is concerned for the multitudes might worry about what will happen if the people don’t leave soon enough to go and fetch food. A person who has compassion for those same multitudes will take action — willing to do their part to see the situation resolved.
Whether we’re talking about the hole in the ozone or the global issue of poverty, the dichotomy seems the same:
Concerned people take note, compassionate people take action.
Concerned people have suggestions to solve the problem, compassionate people make moves to solve the problem.
Concerned people worry about the issue, compassionate people give, and act to change the issue.
Concerned people see obstacles, compassionate people see opportunities.
The disciples saw five loaves and two fish. Jesus saw the chance to do a miracle.
I immediately realized I had a choice to be concerned, or to show compassion. I could call and say I was sorry to hear the bad news. I could make suggestions about how to solve the problem. Or, I could take action to try to change the situation.
I share this not to point at my actions and say, “Look at me! I rock!” Rather, I want to say we modern-folk have lived far too long with this dichotomy of belief.
If we believe poverty is an issue, we have to act.
If we believe the environment is a matter of concern, we have to change our behaviour accordingly.
If we believe the Bible is true, we have to do what it says.
Part of me would like to simply conclude all this by challenging you to give something to help Mirriam House — $20 for the 20 people who’ve been left homeless, or for the 20-month-old who lost his life. But I’m afraid you’ll give, and then go away and not understand the real message I want to share.
We have to live what we believe. No, we can’t solve every problem on our own. But we have five loaves and two fish to give to just about every situation. Do those five loaves and two fish add up to seven dollars for a lost orphanage? Are they five loaves and two fish of taking the time to separate out your trash and recycle what can be recycled? Are they five loaves and two fish of actually adopting a child who needs a home?
Only you will stand before your Maker at the end of your days to give an account for what you did with your five loaves and two fish in this world. But I stand fully convinced that together, our five loaves and two fish can do a world of good.
xCC
P.S. I’ve been greatly encouraged by the generous support that has come in for Mirriam House so far. Thank you so much for your compassion, friends. Your actions are changing things!!
I create resources to help people find deeper, more meaningful relationships with God through pursuing, pondering, and prayer. The "Shop" link above will take you to the home of many of the lovely resources I’ve created to help you keep walking one day deeper with Jesus.
I create resources to help people find deeper, more meaningful relationships with God through pursuing, pondering, and prayer. The "Shop" link above will take you to the home of many of the lovely resources I’ve created to help you keep walking one day deeper with Jesus.