Oct 11, 2013 | 31 Days, The Good Word
Hi there! This post is part of a 31-Day writing adventure I’m embarking on. I’d love for you to join me and read along. You can find the introduction to the series, and a “Table of Contents” as each day goes live, right here. Thanks so much for dropping in!
How much time would you say you’ve spent thinking about what you were created to do? Do you believe you were created with a purpose — that there are actually specific things that only you can accomplish with your time on the Earth?
God creates things on purpose and does things on purpose. This verse is a good example of that truth:
As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. {Isaiah 55:10-11}
Observe that the rain and snow are purposefully sent to water the Earth, the seeds are purposefully in existence for the sower (i.e., farmer) and the existence of those seeds makes the possibility of food sprouting from those seeds planted in the Earth a reality — which results in bread for the eater — which lends itself towards the final goal of sustaining life on Earth.
God’s word is also filled with layers of purpose. And here He explains that He sends His word on purpose — perhaps you are reading these very words on this very page as a part of His purpose (I wouldn’t hesitate, really, to remove the perhaps from that statement).
So if the seeds are on purpose, the seasons are on purpose, the day and the night and the cold and the heat, what about you? The carefully crafted man, with life breathed into you from the very lungs of God. The only part of His creation He chose to make in His own image.
Paul explained purpose to the Ephesians this way:
For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. {Eph. 2:10}
In high school, my BFF and I spent many an hour of our days together entertaining people. We loved to joke and to laugh, to reenact skits we’d seen on Saturday Night Live and to come up with our own ideas for making people smile, and for creating inspiration.
Today, I still love the opportunity to stand up in front of a group of people and speak (I know that’s kind of weird, but yes, I enjoy {love} public speaking) and I love making people laugh when I have a microphone and half an opportunity. I write because I love to connect with people — I try to infuse humor here and there, but am also careful with it, (perhaps more than I need to be?). I want to entertain, but the deeper purpose for me is to educate and to inspire.
My friend went on to do Improv for a number of years, and even met her husband because of their mutual love for Improv. She has been hard at work creating beauty, most recently, by creating documentaries, which serve the purpose of educating and entertaining. She has always had the gift of vision, of gathering people around a common goal, and, like her (wonderful) Art-Teacher-Mom she seems to constantly create beauty with her life.
So here’s where things get really interesting for those of you trying to find yourself. There is something to be said for aptitude tests and career counseling — they can absolutely help you recognize the strengths and abilities with which you were created. In addition, there’s something to be said for going to the One who created you to find out what your purpose is all about.
If you belong to Christ, if you believe that He was who He said He was and is He Who says He is, then you died to yourself — the old man who you were before you found Him — and those redeeming qualities can begin to shine brighter and brighter.
For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. {Col. 3:3}
It’s so unexpected, but in His glorious goodness, instead of a constant inward focus, there is so much of your “self” to find by looking to the One who created you.
Your life is hidden in Him. His purposes for you are kept secret and safe in Him, where the enemy of your soul cannot fully see them and therefore attempt to thwart them. Like a map to a treasure that a person memorizes and then burns so that no one else will find it, the map to the life you were created to live is in the heart of God.
Yet another paradox finds us as we look for goodness: You lose yourself in all-out-seeking Him, and there you’ll find the self you’re looking for.
xCC
Oct 10, 2013 | In the Name of Love
Hey guys and gals — I’m interrupting the regularly scheduled 31Days posts (but not skipping a day — I will post again tomorrow!) just to share a bit about how we do health care. I started a post about this topic in February of this year… yes… but finally decided, with a nudge from the legislation of el gobierno, Okay, I’m getting too many questions NOT to write this post. (Otherwise I’ll be answering the same questions over and over, right?)
So with no more than eight months’ ado, here’s the skinny on how we do Health Care:
We are a part of a Christian Health Care sharing ministry called Samaritan’s Ministries International. {Not affiliated with Samaritan’s Purse or Samaritan’s Feet…} Their system is pretty simple and we love it, because it feels like we are a part of the body of believers in a great, tangible way.
{Image from a card I received from a fellow SMI member when my Dad died. Source.}
HOW IT WORKS
Each month, SMI sends a newsletter with the name of a person who has had a health care issue, explains the issue (not in great detail – that might be weird) and sends their address. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to pray for that person, and send your ministry “share” (your check) directly to that member who has a need. Our share is $370 per month — and (bonus for us) this amount does not change regardless of the number of children you have.
You send your share to a fellow member 11 months a year, and directly to the SMI offices to cover administrative costs 1 month a year.
So, for example, the month I started writing this post we were sending our check to a couple in Asheville — the husband recently had surgery for prostrate cancer. And when I submitted the doctor’s bills for the Belle’s pregnancy and delivery, we began receiving checks from other members with notes of encouragement and so on, to cover our bills.
WHEN YOU GET SICK
When you have some sort of health-related issue, you simply pay the bill yourself (or wait, if needs be), submit the need to SMI, and then “reimburse yourself.” Or, if you’d rather, you can wait until the funds come in from your SMI submission, and then pay the bills. {Just keep in mind sometimes you get a nice discount for prompt payment, which is kind of better for everybody, if you can swing it. But sometimes it’s good to wait longer — it seems like discounts are sometimes easier to negotiate when you’ve taken your time about paying a bill. Hard to decide what to do sometimes! SMI folks can help if you’re in a conundrum.}
MAKING A CLAIM
In SMI speak, Making a Claim is called Submitting (and Publishing) a Need. (An eligible need is “published” when it is sent to other members of SMI so that they send their gifts to cover your need.) Needs are only publishable if they are:
1) Over $300 (up to $250,000)
2) Not needs that you had before you became a member of SMI.
Because SMI is less expensive than most traditional health care options, you do have to budget for the fact that a routine doctor’s visit will not be covered, unless it’s more than $300. (But what doctor are you visiting whose routine visits are more than $300??)
But because SMI is not Health Insurance, you are considered self-pay and usually receive a very significant discount because of that. (i.e., the Belle’s $128 baby check-ups are often reduced to $58. Which to me indicates something is wrong with the health care system in general but never you mind.)
DISCOUNTS
In many cases, you are able to negotiate discounts on health care costs. For example, by offering to go ahead and pay three different bills related to my pregnancy with the Belle, the company I needed to pay for the lab tests (or whatever) was willing to knock something to the tune of $600 off the total amount owed. When I submitted those bills to SMI, and indicated that I received that discount I negotiated, the $300 deductible was reduced to nothing. Better explained:
If you are able to negotiate a discount off your bill, that amount will come off the standard initial $300 deductible, and you’ll just pay the remaining amount you owe. If you negotiate a $50 discount, you’ll just pay $250 out of pocket and the remaining amount will be published by SMI.
I ended up paying about $0 for my pregnancy and delivery with the Belle.
IF THERE ARE MORE NEEDS THAN SHARES
On months where the total amount of needs being submitted is higher than the number of shares scheduled to be sent, the needs are prorated to cover as much as possible across the board. For example, SMI might only be able to publish 90% of the amount of your need. Members are then encouraged to send an additional amount if they are able to. You might be able to negotiate additional discounts if you haven’t paid your bill yet. One way or another (Keep Calm and Trust God) it generally works out. And if/when people do make additional gifts to cover pro-rated needs, SMI will touch base to see what happened and if you need additional funds.
PRACTICAL OUTWORKINGS
In March of this year, my Dad, who had not been an SMI member for very long, suddenly had a heart attack, spent a week in the hospital in the Cardiac ICU, and then I saw him for the last time I’d see him this side of heaven and he was gone.
About $140,000 worth of medical bills were left behind.
Nearly $17,000 was knocked off his main hospital bill because he was an organ donor, which was awesome. (And guys, please consider being an organ donor. It blesses me to know that a woman with three grandchildren received a kidney transplant when my Dad died — something positive out of something so hard.)
But, for you non-mathematicians out there, we still owed… 100,000 + 3700 + 4,000… um, a LOT.
When the bills came in, I gathered them up, filled out the necessary paperwork (which by the way is impressively little) and submitted the need to SMI.
Needs are usually published around 30 – 60 days after their submission, and it took me a while to get everything together (the hospital actually took a long time to send the main bill???). So, in September of this year, my Dad’s need was published and hundreds of checks began to arrive in our mailbox in the days that followed. Many of them complete with beautiful cards, prayers and notes of encouragement and Scriptures — and WOW did it mean a lot to me.
The knowledge that so many people had prayed for my family was very powerful, very meaningful. The checks have been deposited to the Estate’s bank account, and I will be paying the bills in the days ahead.
Because the need was such a large amount, even though September was a month where they needed to prorate needs, SMI decided to divide my Dad’s need up and publish it over two months to make sure we got the full amount. Which was HUGE. And just blessed my soul.
To me, it is absolutely evidence of the body of Christ in action.
Every time I called SMI to get their help in the process of submitting needs after my Dad’s death, someone ended the conversation by asking if they could pray for me. EVERY time. It was such a gift, and though it often brought me to tears, it often overwhelmed me with the knowledge that the Lord was with me through that very challenging time.
FIND OUT MORE:
This is by no means a comprehensive explanation of SMI. You’re welcome to ask questions in the comments but I would love it if you would first visit their website and especially check out their detailed FAQ page.
Here’s my little Pros & Cons breakdown:
The Pros:
- It is not as expensive as health insurance, and we love the “vision” of Christians sharing with one another as they have need.
- They cover almost any medical needs, except for ones that existed before a person became a member with SMI. If there are large needs that existed before the person became a member, they will often still send out “Special Prayer Needs” and ask members to give something if they would like to and are able to help.
- As previously explained, the first $300 of any need is to be covered by the member, so if you have a $75 doctor visit, you’ll be paying that out of pocket. But, if you submit a need over $300 and you’re able to negotiate a discount, the discount you negotiate will reduce the deductible. (And when you explain to a health care provider that you are self-pay, they often have a discount — even $75 bills have been reduced for me just because I’ve asked about this.) Since we negotiated multiple deductions for my pregnancy and delivery, we haven’t had to pay anything.
- They give you a monthly prayer guide, so you are praying for other SMI members with medical issues around the world each day. It is a beautiful connection in the body.
The Cons:
- It can sometimes take time for the need to be submitted and for you to begin receiving shares. So this could either affect your cashflow or you could have a special savings account just for medical expenses… or you could use a credit card if you willing. Or you can just wait to pay the bills… we have had some of our bills reduced just because we took our time about paying them!
- Not having coverage for smaller doctor’s visits can be a bummer if finances are tight — but budgeting for this when possible should make that okay.
- It is probably easier to pull out an insurance card than to have to keep track of shares and submit medical bills. (But remember — convenience often comes at a price and I think our country is feeling that price right now. )
- If there are more needs than shares in a particular month, your need might be “pro-rated” and only be covered 80-90%. In this case, they often encourage people to give a little extra to help cover things.
MY PERSONAL OPINION
Overall, we have been EXTREMELY happy with SMI. It is perhaps a little less “convenient” than health insurance, but since it seems like the health insurance system is a mess that’s only getting worse, and we are very happy to be doing it this way – probably saving a lot of money, and participating in a church-minded way of bearing one another’s burdens as we are encouraged in Scripture.
You can check out their website at www.samaritanministries.org to find out more about how they work. And if you do sign up, please let them know Caroline Collie referred you — one of our monthly shares will be discounted as a result, and since I spent a gabillion hours trying to write all this in a blog post, that would be awesome!
xCC
Oct 10, 2013 | 31 Days, The Good Word
Hi there! This post is part of a 31-Day writing adventure I’m embarking on. I’d love for you to join me and read along. You can find the introduction to the series, and a “Table of Contents” as each day goes live, right here. Thanks so much for dropping in!
Yesterday, I shared some thoughts on the concept of losing your life to find it — and ended asking if you, Dear Reader, perhaps get a little itchy with the idea that God wants all of your life. I’d like to take a little more time for that concept to “simmer” in the pot before it’s poured, so I’m going to switch gears and discuss something different today, and then come back to that when the timing seems right.
Sound okay?
Great, let’s dig in!
How do you feel about birthdays?
A few weeks ago, I celebrated a birthday. I really like birthdays and generally don’t struggle too much with focusing on the fact that I’m clocking additional laps on the track of life, and this one was just so special there was really no good reason to be bummed — other than it being my first birthday without my Dad, and there being a few moments where his absence was a little tough.
Hero Hubs, like always, lived up to his moniker by organizing a perfectly special day for me. My Mom, as always, blessed me in countless ways and reminded me for the hundredth time that week that I’m so fortunate she’s my Mama. And a new friend of mine made all these special efforts to make the day super-great and it was SUCH a treat!
Among the gifts I was showered with were some birthday cash, which I happily received. I regularly tend to avoid spending money on myself, but with everything arranged for my friend and I to get out of the house childless and go shopping for a wee while (very big deal people!) I was very excited to grab a couple of necessities for the change of season upon us, and pretty much some stuff that I like to call additions to my “Momiform.” Which is the uniform I found myself in almost every day — jeans and a basic t-shirt, because why not?
We scooted off to the next town over and found some deals (including a steal on a much-needed new bathing suit, which was not as needed as I thought since our beach vacation has been RAINY.) And after all that fun I still had some extra cash in my pocket.
For some reason, I decided to try to spend the rest of it on other people.
In the days and weeks that followed, I enjoyed paying for a friend’s coffee as we enjoyed an afternoon out without our kids. I bought my Mom some much-deserved flowers (it was on the to-do list for weeks) and enjoyed taking the Bear and my sweet nieceypoo to a movie.
And, it might come as no surprise, I think I got more joy out of blessing others than I would have if I’d found a few more options for my Momiform. My Mom’s flowers lasted for ages and brought us both a lot of joy. I loved getting special time with my niece – I don’t get to see her often and my son. And MAN OH MAN is it a treat to just sit down with another Mama and have an adult conversation sometimes!!!
In His glorious goodness, the Lord built a gift into giving.
But let’s be honest. Giving isn’t always easy. Sometimes when it comes in the form of serving, and especially if that serving seems to go unnoticed, you can begin to really feel like you’re getting the short end of the stick. {You remember that God is all-seeing though, right?} And sometimes, when you’re asked to give, you might also have concerns about whether there will still be enough for you.
Our photography business has been asked to give a lot since we did our first photoshoot in the Carolinas, and we’ve clung to one particular principal to remind us to keep it up:
The generous man will be prosperous, And he who waters will himself be watered. {Prov. 11:25}
As a result, we have been privileged to begin to catch a glimpse of this reality. We’ve answered nearly every inquiry by giving. Our business is growing and we’re beginning to get excited about the dream becoming a reality. {We already have four weddings booked for 2014 — and I could wet my pants!}
Remember that first giveaway we did, for a Quiver Tree photo session over a year and a half ago? The family we met, who won the giveaway have since become dear friends that we LOVE LOVE LOVE.
The hard part of giving — almost every time — is usually trusting that if you give, you’ll still have enough for you and your family at the end of the day.
This is where that hard “T” word comes in — Trust.
But here’s the promise you can stand on to help you Trust, so that you can enjoy the gift in giving and enjoy it often:
And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. {Phil. 4:19}
Is it sometimes hard for us Westerners to recognize the difference between needs and wants? Probably so. But we can absolutely trust the God who sees everything (and knows everything) to supply what is best for us, and to water us when we demonstrate our trust in Him and water others.
Have you seen an unexpected gift from deciding to be a giver? I’d love to hear about it.
I’d like to challenge you to choose to be generous today — and let me know how it goes!
xCC
Oct 9, 2013 | 31 Days, The Good Word
Hi there! This post is part of a 31-Day writing adventure I’m embarking on. I’d love for you to join me and read along. You can find the introduction to the series, and a “Table of Contents” as each day goes live, right here. Thanks so much for dropping in!
We are enjoying a yearly tradition of spending time with family at the beach this week and yesterday, I had the privilege of taking the Bear and my sweet nieceypoo on a little trip to the movies. My niece doesn’t live nearby, so I love soaking in her fun and vivacious personality when I get the chance to spend time with her.
We had about ten minutes before the movie was supposed to start, and I had a couple of quarters in my pocket so I decided to let the kids play the race car game they’d been pretending to play while I was getting snacks. After putting quarters into the machine, I quickly realized the Bear’s feet wouldn’t reach the peddles, and slipped into the seat with him in my lap so that he could steer while I pushed the pedals.
Watching the screen was nothing short of painful — I could see that we were about to slam into things and would do my best to slow down. We were very obviously in eighth place and I was trying to help catch up!! I occasionally tried to grab the wheel to help, which sometimes helped, but sometimes resulted in us flipping completely over or slamming into something and bursting into flames. It became obvious that I needed to let go, slow down, and just let the Bear go at his own pace, which was quite a test of will for me.
Attempting to let someone else drive but simultaneously trying to push the pedals immediately made me begin to think about how I interact with the Lord. I wondered if sometimes I try to push the pedals or grab the wheel and steer because I don’t like the course being set for me. Even though I absolutely want to whole-heartedly give my life to the Lord, I sometimes cling to the wheel for fear of what that could look like.
A missionary named Jim Elliot, who lived an incredible life for Jesus, traveling to unreached people groups to share the Gospel with them for the first time, once said, “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.”
Jesus delivered this similarly challenging word to His followers: “If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.” {Matthew 10:39}
As I mentioned the other day, it is often a challenge to let go of something we’ve been clinging to for the sake of Jesus. He doesn’t promise we will be safe, but He does promise we will find eternal life with Him when this blip-on-the-map called our life on earth is over.
It is an unexpected paradox, like so many aspects of His glorious goodness, that clinging to something will cause you to lose it, but letting go of something will cause you to find it. Matthew Henry comments on it this way:
They who like not Christ on these terms, may leave him at their peril… It is very encouraging to think, that whatever we leave, or lose, or suffer for Christ, we do not make a hard bargain for ourselves. Whatever we part with for this pearl of price, we may comfort ourselves with this persuasion, that it is well worth what we give for it.
Is His glorious goodness good enough to leave everything for? Do you get itchy with the idea that God wants all of you — or wants the steering wheel and the pedals?
Can we chat about that more tomorrow?
xCC
Oct 8, 2013 | 31 Days, The Good Word, The Parenthood
Hi there! This post is part of a 31-Day writing adventure I’m embarking on. I’d love for you to join me and read along. You can find the introduction to the series, and a “Table of Contents” as each day goes live, right here. Thanks so much for dropping in!
I’m a parent, and like a lot of parents, I think my kids are uber-awesome. Really. I adore each one of them for different reasons — I love the Bear’s tenderheartedness, his clever mind, his deep thinking. Although the Tank is absolutely a steamroller in many situations, he somehow also has this incredibly gentle spirit, loves to give kisses, shows deep concern when someone is sad, and is full of that age-two-everything-is-full-of-wonder stage that melts my heart on a daily basis.
The Belle, of course, is our little princess and we cherish her. She shows so much delight in the world around her. She is quickly becoming very eager to not just watch, but participate in what her brothers are doing. She loves to be tickled and to giggle, and has an out-of-this-world nose scrunch.
It’s pretty easy to come up with a list of reasons why the small people in my life have such a special place in my heart (besides, obviously, the wonderful knowledge that they’re mine) but there are also times when it is NOT so easy to be their Mama. When I feel like a steaming pressure cooker with a stuck-on-lid, when there are more rides on the drama llama than this Mama can handle.
A couple of weeks ago, the Bear had one of those drama-llama moments. It had been a really long day. He no longer takes naps in the afternoon, but I sometimes think he still could (but then he’d never fall asleep at bedtime.) He’d been very active and was probably a little tired, though he wasn’t showing it.
Dinner wasn’t going to take long so I suggested we go for a stroll to the playground to enjoy just a little more fresh air at the end of our day. I have a double stroller, and it’s anybody’s guess, sometimes, how many kids I’ll be pushing in it. The Tank wanted to ride in the back, the Belle was in the front, and the Bear was riding the Tank’s bike, so that if he decided to get out of the stroller and ride a bike, he could.
It was not a surprise when the Tank switched gears and wanted to ride his bike. The Bear happily jumped into the backseat of the stroller when I said it would be okay — yes, he’s probably too old to be riding in the stroller, but I caved in the name of having fun.
We arrived on the gravel path we take for the last stretch to the playground, and, no surprise, sweet little Tank wanted to ride in the stroller again because it is too hard to push a plastic bike over a gravel road. Truth.
A fight ensued. Over rights to the backseat of the stroller, of course.
Knowing we would not make it to the playground without the Tank getting in the stroller, I asked the Bear to get out, and he was… more than a little disappointed.
I did my best to explain my reasoning, talked about how great it would be to play at the playground, attempted a little discussion about the best decision in this scenario, tried to make it NOT a big deal… nothing doing.
He parked himself in one spot and didn’t budge.
I strolled a little further (safe location folks, don’t worry) and looked back to see him still arms crossed, crying a little.
I strolled a little further and the weeping turned into wailing. Embarrassingly loud, cray cray wailing. Perhaps he would follow now?
I strolled a little further and he eventually freaked out with scream-crying.
Without boring you with more exhaustive details, I’ll basically say it ended badly. His favorite toy taken away for a week for his disobedience (when I asked him to come), other punishment for the fact that he yelled at his Mama… still more discussion later that evening about the fact that — {ohmigosh this is what it looks like} he actually did a little on-the-ground kicking and screaming. It wasn’t a full-fledged grocery-store-kid gone wild — but it was the closest I’d ever seen from him.
Eventually, order was re-restored, but we never made it to the playground. He cried most of all of the walk home, and waited in his bedroom for his Dad to get home.
Washing dishes after dinner that night, I reflected on the reasons behind the freak-out, and thought about what I could have done differently to better handle the situation, and to perhaps even prevent it from happening like that again.
I remembered this verse from Psalm 18:35:
You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great.
In the middle of the Bear’s tantrum, which allow me to mention — this might have been his third one, total, in his five years of life — it’s totally not like him — the first one ever was shockingly embarrassing when we had to leave a pool party early…never mind. In the middle of the Bear’s tantrum, the thing that finally connected me with him enough to manage to get him off the ground and on the way home was stooping down to look him in the eyes.
{It doesn’t always look like this…}
However, I pretty much presided over the entire tantrum, from my vantage point, a couple of feet above him.
But my conclusion as I washed the dishes and thought about the best course of action? It would have been very good for me to have gotten down on his level sooner — to gently discuss the situation, to talk about what was happening in a way that could have put it in perspective for him, instead of barking out my own threats or wishes or commands or whatever else.
Sometimes the mess a kid is in can feel so bad you don’t want to get in it. You don’t want to bend down to try to start wading through the web of emotions and screens to get to the heart and really gain understanding.
But how gloriously good is this?
In the midst of our own mess, our collective strops and tantrums and rages, our arms-crossed defiant head-shaking no-shouting ways, (which are sometimes not visual from the outside, mind you) the God of the Universe stooped down to make us great.
Jesus condescended, entered a broken world, and created an opportunity for us to climb off the back of our own drama llamas, and to choose a life well-lived, with the help of the Holy Spirit, to the honor and glory of God.
The verses that surround this one from Psalm 18 declare the goodness of God, and discuss what He does to strengthen and encourage and prepare His people for the battles that we will face. He does not leave us to face the challenges that absolutely do come our way empty-handed.
Other translations declare that His humility, or His mercy, or His gentleness makes us great. And amen. But I love the picture of the God of the Universe stooping down to look us in the eyes, the way I might have better connected if I’d decided to kneel in front of a frustrated son that day.
Who could have expected the God who created the universe to love the people He created this much? With this everlasting, never-changing love!
And He stoops down, AND says,
“I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.” {Jer. 31:3}
The love of God for you and me is the most incredible unexpected treasure. And the Holy stooping He does, to help us wade through our own mire, turn our eyes to Him, be lifted up and gain understanding? It is nothing short of glorious.
xCC