Gosh, is it just me or does it seem like the Tank was only eight months last week? And do you remember when he looked so tiny snuggled inside this pillow he’s now towering over?

It’s hard to believe eleven months have swooped by, but I suppose it’s kind of been a busy year.

  

And ya know, there’s a funny thing the Hubs and I have found ourselves saying over and over again about this little boy of ours.

We talk about how being in the middle of a transcontinental move, a job change, and a heap of other transitions doesn’t seem like the right ‘timing‘ for having another child.

You’d think the stress of a new addition to the family would just make all the other changes and challenges too much.

But we’ve consistently found that this little one {and his older brother} have been incredible sources of joy, peace, and even sanity in the midst of what sometimes felt like scary hard craziness.

At times when we were close to pulling our hair out, a giggle, a new trick, even a tear or two, could bring us down to earth again — filling our hearts to the brim with the reminder to savor the moment, even when the moment has ‘hard’ written all over it.

It reminds me of those wise and confounding words in 1 Corinthians 1 — that God has made foolish the wisdom of this world. And though we might decide in our own wisdom that this is or is not the right timing for a child, a change, a choice of any kind, truthfully the foolishness of God is wiser than any wisdom we can muster. The weakness of God is stronger than our greatest strength.

And so fearlessly welcoming children into the world is something I understand now less as a matter of wisdom and more as a matter of trust. Not knowing what tomorrow will bring, I trust God for this day’s bread. The bread that fills our tummies, and the bread of wisdom I need, for knowing how to parent. The bread of grace I need, for knowing how to extend myself in love. The bread of faith I need, for trusting again for tomorrow, and the day after that.

How and why He chooses to give as He does — these grace-filled gifts of parenthood, life as I know it, daily bread, I receive with trembling hands — it is a mystery I imagine we’ll only know on the other side. I want these gifts for everyone — but I can only trust in Him when I don’t understand why it isn’t so.

I can say with certainty that trusting His perfect timing has taught me confounding wisdom. And as it is written, if I glory in this, it is glory in the Lord. What confounding wisdom… demonstrated through the gift of a child.

{And doesn’t it all come back to the gift of a child?}

  

Eleven precious, months laced right round with grace — I might’ve planned this all differently, so I’m thankful I’m not making many plans.

xCC

P.S. Care to comment? Do you struggle with a balance between your own methods of family planning and trusting God’s timing? How do you {or how do you plan to} reconcile the two?